This is a fellow movie-goers rant. I told him I'd post it, and my comments follow. I'd love to hear yours.
Dear Hollywood;
My name is JoeMovieGoer, and I live in Joetown, USA. Joetown isn't the
biggest town in the world and consequently, there's not much to do here but
get drunk or go to the movies (personally, I choose the latter). Being that
I go to the movies often (3-4 time a month) I haven't been able to help but
notice that in recent years, you've really been turning out some bad cinema.
Recent atrocities such as Crossroads, Swimfan, Men in Black 2, Scooby Doo,
Serving Sara, and The Ring - just to name a FEW- has prompted me to take
action. [Dear reader, please note that I was only stupid enough to pay for
The Ring. I snuck into the rest because I knew they'd be bad.] So Hollywood,
as punishment for the punishment you have inflicted upon the movie going
audiences with your tired and predictable scripts, endlessly mediocre
remakes and sequels, I am proposing the following...
Dear Reader of this email;
If you go to the movies often, I know you're as tired of bad movies lately
as I am. The actions I'm asking you to take are designed to send Hollywood a
message that we don't have to put up with this. WE have the power, NOT their
hired test audiences. And so- In December 2002, the movie studios release
most of their biggest films for the year. One reason is for money, and
second is for the Oscar voters. Winning Oscars means more money for a film
of course. So, it's all about money. We will hit them where it hurts- in
their pockets. You see, because movie studios rely heavily upon opening
weekend returns, I'm asking you to do this...For the month of December 2002,
wait at least one week before going to see that blockbuster we've all been
waiting for (I wouldn't tell you NOT to see the movie). I admit I'm anxious
for Lord of the Rings 2, but that weekend I think I'll read a book instead.
Maybe Lord of the Rings. Anyway, I understand if you're on vacation for the
holidays and want something to do, but if you must see a blockbuster movie,
I also suggest that you pay for some movie you don't really want to see, and
then slip into the appropriate movie once you're inside the theater. It's
okay, I do it a lot. I never go to the movies and only see the movie I paid
for. The way movies are going these days, they should be paying us!
THIS EMAIL IS NOT A JOKE. A COPY OF THIS EMAIL IS BEING SENT TO ALL THE
MAJOR STUDIOS, AS WELL AS VARIETY, ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY, AND ROLLING STONE
MAGAZINE. WE WILL BE HEARD IF WE STICK TOGETHER ON THIS. PLEASE FOWARD THIS
EMAIL TO ANYONE YOU THINK WOULD LOVE TO STRIKE BACK AT HOLLYWOOD FOR IT'S
MOST RECENT CONTEMPT OF MOVIE GOERS. THANK YOU.
PS- I apologize for this email being so long. JMG
Here's my response
I think I'm torn between my agreement with much of what is being said here, and my unwillingness to piss off the business I make my living from. The only thing I would change about the letter is the timing. The "front-loaded" movies being referred to I BELIEVE (please only take all this as my opinion) open in the summer. This summer had it's high points ("Minority Report", "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", "Road to Perdition", "The Bourne Identity"). High points in that they succeeded at the box office AND were GOOD movies. "Wedding" is the anti-front loaded movie, never having a big, $20M weekend, yet grossing $150M total. Don't get me wrong, crap like "Scooby Doo" and "Mr Deeds" still start big and fade 'cause they're shit, and, as the letter says, the studios KNOW they're shit, and market accordingly. But 2001 has to be the banner year for shit...
"Tomb Raider", "Planet of the Apes", "Pearl Harbor", "Jurassic Park III", "Swordfish", "A.I." (although there's debate on this one - there's no doubt the other movies ARE bad). These movies were all front-loaded for big openings. They were dumped on us week after week and we were made to feel excited by their release. Result - $40M openings, $100M gross. If you've got the gumption to squash the big summer releases, I'd aim there.
At Christmastime, movies like "The Grinch" and "Lord of the Rings" and "Harry Potter" can make big money, but there's a different feel to the way the studios approach the marketing. The arrival of the holidays makes the whole movie-going experience more joyful. And, movies like "Harry Potter" and "Ocean's 11" from last Christmastime were very good, and I never felt like the studios said that if I didn't see them, I'd die. Same goes for the new "Harry Potter" movie. I can't believe it opens next week! I don't feel the same whirlwind of advertising as if the studio knew it was July and the movie was horseshit.
As far as the campaign goes, a website can do alot. The "please forward this" e-mail that it seems like he's starting can go a long ways, too. If he creates a website, I'd search around for places to link it up to. Film sites and chat rooms, message boards and fansites. I never got extensive stuff in return from Ebert. In fact, on the previews thing, I got no response. I did get a response on something I wrote Ebert about "The Empire Strikes Back". I don't think Ebert's as revolutionary as he used to be with Siskel. The reviews are still excellent, but the campaigning has diminished. Truthfully, I can't watch "Ebert & Roeper" anymore either until I've seen the movie they're reviewing. They're giving away alot these days, too...
Hope this was interesting and not a nonsensical rant,
Paul
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