Dearest everybody individually,
It's time once again for a movie rant. It's been tough for me to pick a time
to write this. Many of my online compadres have said that a new rant is
overdue. But I really haven't seen that much lately. Not that I haven't had
time, but has anything released lately looked good? I mean really good?
Worth seeing good?
Not in my opinion. So, you won't be hearing about:
Turn it Up (w/Pras & Ja Rule and the tag line "How you gonna win?" ... Are
they kidding?)
Cecil B. Demented (I'm actually slightly upset that I missed this and it's
not too late)
Bring It On (will Kirsten Dunst make ANY movie?)
The Cell (Darn pretty, it just needs Trant Reznor music)
Godzilla 2000 (this may get seen, I'm still reeling from Gamera, Guardian of
the Universe)
Bless the Child (maybe Basinger & Mira Sorvino should make a movie where they
give back their Oscars)
The Art of War (killing time till The Exorcist rerelease opens at the Chinese
Theater Sept. 22)
Coyote Ugly (you'd think Jerry Bruckheimer would get laid enough to prevent
movies like this)
Autumn in New York (zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)
Hollow Man (Maybe someone should make Frankenstein into an assnine slasher
flick)
Loser (Mena Suvari does nothing for me, and I feel as filthy as Lester the
Molester when people try to convince me she's sexy)
The Replacements (required work for Hackman so he can be brilliant in
something later this year)
The Watcher (required work for Reeves so he can suck in something later this
year)
Duets (a movie about karaoke? Great timing. What's next, a movie about
people falling in love ove the CB?)
Crime + Punishment in Suburbia (it comes down to this - teen movies suck.
See the upcoming Urban Legends - Final Cut for further proof)
Bait (Will someone let Jamie Foxx be funny?)
If I'm wrong, please tell me and I'll try and see one of these movies, but it
just seems like a dry season. I did make it out a few times, though. Here's
my comments:
NUTTY PROFESSOR 2 -**1/2 I'm pretty much done thinking about this movie
now. But while I was watching it, I remember laughing quite a bit. Karen
loved it. I think we agree that Eddie Murphy is some funny, funny shit. He
kills and he's extremely good at playing all the characters. The film isn't
as good as the original, though. There are some much cheaper jokes that
could've been cut out. I just remember laughing at Eddie. He's been
hilarious in multiple roles in Coming to America & Bowfinger, and he's good
here, too. There are moments of sweetness, but not as real or believable.
Janet Jackson is a waste and the ending is pretty anti-climactic. So, not a
great movie, but there are funny characters in it.
SPACE COWBOYS - *** How can you not root for these guys? Again, some
trimming would've been ideal to take out some dumb jokes not worthy of the
actors (a plague this year with out-of-place comments showing up in movies
like Cowboys, Nutty 2, The Patriot & Dinosaur). But the overall feeling was
fun for this film and the ending had real twists and suspense. Not to
mention a last shot that is just plain nuts. So nuts, I actually enjoyed it.
The last few Eastwood-directed films I've seen seemed long (Midnight in the
Garden of Good and Evil, True Crime). This one didn't feel long, even though
it still ran over two hours. It's no Unforgiven or In the Line of Fire, but
it was fun.
The best movies I've seen all year were 15 or 70 years old:
BLOOD SIMPLE - see this rerelease, it's such a damn good script, full of
character actors at their best, including M. Emmett Walsh and Dan Hedaya. It
also has an A&E's Biography-type intro that is signature Coen Bros.
THE GENERAL - one of the best places to see a movie in LA is the Silent Movie
Theatre. Last month, I went to see a film I saw in video years ago, Buster
Keaton's The General. This movie is absolutely hilarious, and the production
seems years ahead of it's time. The stunts, gags and train wrecks are
modern-day big, yet it's an old-time flick. If you ever see it on video, get
it. We'll be going back for more Buster and Charlie Chase this month. The
theatre shows movies as if they were events, with prizes for trivia
questions, live musical accompaniment, not to mention Felix the Cat cartoons
before the show. It was a GREAT time.
THE ORIGINAL KINGS OF COMEDY - ** I wanted more from this. It just wasn't
that funny. Normally, I'm hit & miss on Def Comedy Jam, but this was mostly
miss. DL Hughley's one hour special on HBO was much more enjoyable.
There's no doubt these guys have confidence and energy, some have compared it
to Pryor and Murphy. Set it straight - these guys can't touch Pryor and
Eddie Murphy RAW was better. If you're interested in this, see Richard
Pryor-Live in Concert. One of the funniest live shows ever. These guys
don't have strong enough material for a whole film.
NURSE BETTY - **1/2 If only Neil LaBute had written this. What they have
without that is an OK movie. To me, Betty travelling across the country to
live in her make-believe soap opera life is not that exciting an idea. I
feel the crazy-person-getting-everything-they-want plot has run it's course.
Betty goes to LA and she's so nutty she gets a place to live and a part on
the show. I've seen that in Forrest Gump, Being There and parts of Big.
"Wow, you're crazy as a damn fruitcake, we better make you head of
programming at our radio station!" - etc., etc. But, Morgan Freeman is
untouchable. There's no doubt he'll be great in anything. I didn't really
get the arc of his character, though. Why is he acting the way he is about
Betty? Why is a good question. And, I have never been a big Chris Rock fan.
He's never been a particularly good ACTOR. He seems shifty and
uncomfortable in his skin. Same in this case. So, it's a well made film,
but nothing surprised me much. By the way, there's an establishing shot of
The Saharan Hotel where Rock and Freeman are staying in LA. The big, salmon
color building behind it is where Karen and I live!
So, that's it for now. I'm REALLY looking forward to ALMOST FAMOUS, THE WAY
OF THE GUN (despite bad reviews) and THIS IS SPINAL TAP in rerelease.
Please write back!
-Paul