**** Do not read this until you have seen Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. I'm giving away plot points during the course of my "I'll admit I have no life over-dissection" of the film.****
I've been waiting 16 years to see the further adventures of George Lucas' universe. I mean, I was 13, I cried when Return of the Jedi ended. (I even cried after Empire, I thought Han was dead, I didn't understand the whole "frozen" thing till a second viewing. I was 10, what the hell?!) I knew that my time with these characters was over, done. No more Han Solo or Darth Vader. No more Luke Skywalker or Chewbacca. And I was an impressionable son-of-a-bitch! Han Solo was an ICON! The ultimate in cool, quick, rugged. So, for the next 6 years I followed Indiana Jones. The '90s haven't been as good for heroes. Sure, the Star Wars characters had further adventures in books (the Timothy Zahn series is especially good) and they had MILLIONS of adventures in my driveway in miniature. So, The Phantom Menace means alot to me. I mean R2-D2 in another movie, how cool is that?!?!?! Karen and I were in NY City from April 29th to May 11th. Tickets for Star Wars Episode 1 went on sale May 12th. So I called in from NY to see how the line was in front of McClurg Court Cinema 1, the finest in action/adventure experience. There were already a couple dozen people in line. Well, the fates were with me (or was it The Force) when I called in on 5/12 to get tix. The line by 10AM had grown to some 250 people. I cannot believe I avoided a logjam and actually got thru to moviefone. But I got tix for opening day, 7:15 PM. We arrived at 5PM to get the best seats, and the crew at McClurg were handling the lines surprisingly well. We were 3rd row center ready to be blasted into oblivion. I didn't succumb to the hype, I was the hype.
Enough about me. Let's talk about the film. I have to admit I was equal parts thrilled and disappointed. I received an e-mail from a friend of mine, who we'll leave unnamed and simply refer to him as "Mike Rivera", that said: "the [films have the] unfortunate task of living up to the first series of films, an expectation that is undoubtedly unfair." Two years ago I had a conversation over the phone with my friend (who we'll call "Paul Viggiangelo") about Independence Day, a trite piece of silly putty where people don't take the death of 20 million people seriously. He didn't like the film because it failed to live within the parameters it created for itself! ex - The aliens can travel 1 million light years, but can't fight a computer virus. LAME. This is now something I look for in all science fiction I watch. I didn't like it because of something ALL action movies have these days. An overwhelming lack of fear. You've got to go back to Jurassic Park in 1993 to find an action movie that had a real terrifying presence, in the T-Rex and raptors. (Then again, Paul would probably bring up the parameters thing about the electric fence...But still, you can't deny the unpredictability and sheer blood-thirsty nature of the dinosaurs in Park and The Lost World) This makes the conquering of those things all the more meaningful, and their rampaging all the more affecting. Armageddon, Godzilla, Independence Day, they're all missing any sense of fear. So, if Lucas wanted to live up to the first series of films, he should've injected a little more fear into a movie with the word "Menace" in it, 'cause the original trilogy had fear to spare. Onward...
THRILLED:
- The Pod Racing. This is a wonderfully imaginative action scene. It is a wonderful technical achievement and fully realized event for the planet Tatooine. I loved the rickety, self-made, put-together-from-spare-parts feel of the racers. Plus, their EXTREME speed is matched in movies only by the forest bikes of Return of the Jedi. The Pod Races brought a wonderful sense of malevolence and maliciousness that I thought was needed in more of the film. When one of the Pods explodes and pieces of it go flying into the crowd, I was thrilled by that unpredictability. And the SINGLE FUNNIEST THING I've seen in about a year in ANY movie, was the Tusken Raider cameo. First off, it was cool to see them in the first place, then THEY TOOK RANDOM POT SHOTS AT THE RACERS!!!!! THAT WAS HILARIOUS!!! And, that's exactly what they'd do! Well done, nice truth to character. Also, the sound effects were especially effective, even occasionally sounding like the engines "chug", almost like they run on steam. They don't of course, but I like the sound effect. Lastly, I really enjoyed the jawa saying "OOO-TEE-DEE!". I enjoy saying that myself.
- Jedis kicking ass. There's nothing cooler. Mel Gibson is one of my favorite actors, and I think I enjoy him so much because of the intense focus he brings to any character. There is usually a pretty single-minded purpose to his focus. In Braveheart, it was freeing Scotland, in Ransom, it was finding his children's kidnappers, in Payback, it was getting his 70,000 dollars. And there is something VERY exciting about watching a very focused character go about persuing his goals. That same excitement I found in Qui-Gon Jinn, Liam Neeson's character. He was credits-to-credits EXCELLENT in this movie. He and McGregor both gave us a great idea of what Jedis are like in their prime. In the first trilogy, all we get Jedi-wise is one in training, one who's evil, and two who are old. My friend, who we'll call Adam Witt, summed it up best when he said the Galactic Senate heard about the invasion of Naboo and said "Well, let's send two Jedis". TWO!!! How cool is it that that's all you need to tame an entire army. I wanted more, but really dug what I saw. It was even fun to see Qui-Gon have to use general wits to defeat Watto, and free Anakin from slavery. He couldn't use a mind trick or brute force. Neeson was great.
- The Jedis vs. Darth Maul. The Phantom Menace ended much like Return of the Jedi, with three battles taking place at once. In Jedi, it was Luke and Vader, the battle of Endor and the Falcon's charge on the Death Star. In Menace, it was the space battle to take down the Federation ship, the battle of Naboo, and the Jedi's battle with Maul. At the end of Star Wars, the trek to blow up the Death Star was taken very seriously, and all the players knew the stakes, and there was great sacrifice to get the job done. This same purposeful intent and "classic battle"-feeling was carried throughout the light saber duel, and it worked hugely. Thre was much talk afterwards about it:
> Why didn't Qui-Gon Jinn fade away after being killed by Maul? We'll call Sandy Marshall "Mr. X", to hide his identity, and Mr. X theorized that it's because he had unfinished business in his life. Yoda and Obi-Wan had trained future Jedis and completed their duties as Jedis themselves. Good theory.
> What a strange thing, being a Jedi. I remeber Luke throwing his saber away in front of the Emperor refusing to fight. So, basically, if it weren't for Anakin returning from the Dark Side and disposing of the Emperor, Luke would be dead and that'd be it for the Rebellion. Interesting, then, that Obi-Wan wins his battle against Maul with ferocity, skill and a little bit of anger and revenge. Don't know what this all means, but I thought about it alot.
> How cool that Jinn meditated when boxed in that force field, and Maul paced like a caged animal. That said alot about the characters. And naturally, Jinn's death set up alot of Kenobi's future actions. Random thought: Wouldn't Anthony Hopkins be great on the Jedi Council? He may not even have to play a character, just be Anthony Hopkins. Hey look, there's Yoda, Mace Windu and Sir Anthony Hopkins!
- The space politics. A guy who's name I can't remember now, so we'll just call him Rob Kozlowski, said he really enjoyed the way Lucas set up a Universe teetering on the brink of collapse, anyone could overthrow it with enough will (and enough Dark Side). I agree. I also enjoyed the Senate Council where people floated on pods and stated their case to General Zod ("Kneel before Zod!!!!"). In future viewings, look for a pod full of Wookies and E.T.s stating their case. But the slyness with which Palpatine assumes political power was fun to watch. When he combines this power with the Dark Side, all hell's gonna break loose.
- The worlds. Right when you think there's no where for these movies to go (we've been in a desert, ice planet, forest moon, cloud city, and swamp world), he finds new places - underwater, a Royal palace and a planet that's one GIANT city. These were very realized worlds and HUGE eye candy.
DISAPPOINTED:
- Did anyone else come out of this movie saying "More Darth Maul, Less Jar-Jar Binks"? I certainly did. Jar-Jar was annoying as hell, and I don't agree that he's there to counter the space politics that kids won't care about. I mean, I'm sure he is, but what a disappointment that Lucas can't just find that stuff interesting enough without a computer-game saying stuff like "Ek-squeeze Me?". WEAK. I'm mostly shocked because there was NO character like him in the previous films. If the Ewoks were annoying, at least they didn't speak English and provide jokey slapstick scenes. Everyone just thought they were overly cute. And who did his voice, a guy with three tongue and a mouth full of butterscotch? They should've just gone all the way with a jibberish language and subtitles. And Jar-Jar was poorly directed. He often provided the last line of a scene, and it was usually a dud before we edited away to another scene. He just wasn't any fun, I enjoyed the more high-brow comic relief of C-3PO and R2D2 much more.
- Pandering. Speaking of comic relief, Lucas pandered to kiddie sensibilities one too many times in The Phantom Menace. I said how much I liked the light saber duel, I wish I could say the same about the battle on Naboo. Jar-Jar hanging from the battle tanks being all wacky is so removed from the seriousness with which past battles were taken. That was distracting. Lines like "Crunch Time!", "Are you Brain-Dead?", "Ek-Squeeze Me?", "That's gotta hurt" and "Jar-Jar, you in deep doo-doo!" were so dumb. Especially because they don't live in the world Lucas created (see Independence Day). The closest they ever got before was "laugh it up, Fuzzball", now it's as if Jar-Jar and other characters watch MTV for lines like that. Bogus. Especially guilty was the two-headed commentator of the Pod Races. Why spoil such exciting action with a lame-brained character. The voice was just rotten. Oh, wait. If I remember correctly, I heard a 5-year old laugh at "you in deep doo-doo". Well, when I saw Star Wars, Lucas played above my supposed intelligence level and I rose to the occasion, now he makes cheaper moves to beg for the young people to dig it. George, they love your shit already, play it straight, they'll follow along.
- CGI. I said that computers took us to wonderful worlds, created great droids that looked and acted real, and provided a pretty exciting space battle. HOWEVER, I was never emotionally attached to ANY computer-generated character during the course of this film. I guess the closest were Watto, but I thought the Cheech Marin voice they gave him could've been more other-worldly, and Sebulba, who seemed pretty creepy. Boss Nass of the Gungans, Jar-Jar (of course) and all his people, and the animated Jabba just didn't cut it. I remember feeling things for Chewbacca, caring about what he got himself into, even Jabba the Hutt in Return of the Jedi. These computer characters do nothing for me. I think they OVERact, and just don't look real. So, for me, computers do much for visuals, little for characters.
- The Viceroy. Adam told me he thought these guys were just a couple of power-hungry guys who probably shouldn't have messed with the Dark Side. True, but did they have to be total buffoons? I wish they didn't sound like George Takei with a sock in his mouth, too. I'd rather trade those guys with the faulty mouths in for a few of the steely-eyed, cold and calculated Imperial-type humans. This is a tricky situation, though, 'cause I'm glad they weren't CGI, but I'm pissed that they were such weak characters, etc., etc. This is a lasting debate.
- No fear. Maul didn't have enough screen time. The battle droids for the Federation just weren't effective enough to be afraid of. They never accomplished anything....ever. Even if you say they captured the Gungan army and that was effective, I think Sidious said to "Wipe them out". Why take prisoners? A fact brought up by a mysterious figure named Steve Matuszak. We never got to know the Federation ships quite like we knew TIE fighters, so no real fear of them was established. Plus, Anakin defeated their biggest ship by accident practically. Is he really a hero? Not that The Phantom Menace has to be Aliens or anything, but couldn't there be a little more sacrifice? Just one dead Gungan, that's all I ask. Alright, specifically Jar-Jar. In fact, the most fun we had after the movie was thinking of ways for him to die.
Alright, my fingers are bleeding.
I'd LOVE to talk more about this. Gimme a call at 773-477-2082, but have a great long-distance provider. I liked alot in the film and wanted more of what I liked. Overall - ***
Count me in line for Episode 2!
-Paul "Hammerhead" Preston
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