Greetings Earthlings,
The time has come for another movie rant. It's been a while, so
I'll just
get to it. There's alot of ground to cover. No time for a top-of-
the-letter
rant, I'll cover all the bases within the reviews. There's nothing
I can't
stand more than someone who has to spend the beginning of a letter spewing
film references from movies you may not have seen, just so he can
feel
superior and rain cinema knowledge down upon you during the course
of his
writings filmic. Not unlike Laura Antonelli's character in
Visconti's "The
Innocent", who had a feeling of...wait a minute...I'm thinking of
"My Science
Project". Nevertheless, here's crap I seen:
CHARLIE'S ANGELS (**) - Not the absolute junk I expected, yet not
the more
focused film it could've been. I love the reviews in LA's New
Times
Magazine. But, alas, they give away many plot lines (ALOT of
reviewers do in
their full-length reviews. I try not to do that here). So, I
usually wait
till I've seen the flick to read the review, unless it's stuff like
Little
Nicky or Red Planet I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna see. I had no
intention of
seeing ANGELS, so I read the review (which I'll post at the end of
this
letter, 'cause it's hilarious). Turns out I'd forgotten the
unwritten rule
in my house (where Karen lives) that we see every movie that has
Bill Murray
in it, despite buzz. Hell, we even saw Larger Than Life! The odd
thing was,
the parts of the film the review trashed, I enjoyed. Example, a
second look
the director gives to a certain shooting was dismissed as
perceiving the
audience as stupid and they couldn't get it the first time out, I
thought was
cool! There were many other ways the director thought the audience
was
stupid. No doubt director McG (too cool for vowels) didn't know if
he wanted
to make a satire, or an action movie. Characters as dippy as these
angels
were didn't look like the type to have Matrix moves. I think the
choice to
make the angels dippy was a choice of satire (think Dragnet). But
big-budget
action scenes says to me "reinvention" (think MI:2). So, which is
it? But,
the dude (McG IS a dude, right?) makes a number of scenes exciting.
The
opening credit sequence (Where the movie title finally appears on
screen) is
more exciting than scenes where people talk! Hey, if you've ever
wanted to
see George McFly in an action scene, check it out. I still say
hang on for
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon for big-time action with a more
solid director.
PAY IT FORWARD (**) - The first 7/8 or the movie - ****. The last
1/8 - zero
stars. Total - **. There is a plague in our midst. That of bad
endings in
recent movies. This movie has one, two others do, and I went to
see The
Sixth Day 'cause I knew Arnold would find the guys who were mean to
him, and
blow their heads off - SATISFYING ENDING. And I needed that after
PAY IT
FORWARD. The acting is really strong in this film. Helen Hunt
does better
work than I thought she did in As Good As It Gets, the role is more
challenging. Spacey is rock solid. I even enjoyed a number of
scenes ALOT -
Spacey's character gets to blow up at someone who can't realize
they need to
get out of a bad relationship (I know a number of people who need
that
speech, so when Spacey said it, I related). The idea of paying it
forward is
really intriguing, enough for a movie. But it unravels with some
unnecessary
scenes. But the end, oh the end - it's terrible. It's
unwarranted, it's
like a betrayal, the film truly takes a second to take a giant dump
on its
audience. Thanks alot!! We appreciate it! Why don't you send
someone to
break into our car while we're here. Then the very, very end is
lame, too!
So, I left thinking the ending so bad, it actually tainted the
whole film.
THE LEGEND OF DRUNKEN MASTER (***1/2) - No bad ending here. The
final fight
scene in this film DOMINATES and we are all subservient to it. Is
the acting
good? Not really. Is the dubbing good? No - AND IT NEVER WILL BE.
But the
fights, the fights! Jackie Chan and his stunt monkeys are to be
admired (or
hospitalized) for what they do in this flick. Even Jackie takes a
fall into
hot coals! It's a typical revenge plot with some comedy Jackie's
known for.
I just enjoyed the hell out of myself. I am told that his American
films
(Rush Hour, Shanghai Noon) have fight choreography that is very
detailed and
utilizes a number of things in the room, and the rehearsals are
rigorous. In
his Hong Kong films, there'll be dialogue and suddenly a blank
sheet that
just says "Jackie Chan fight scene", then back to dialogue. It
shows on
screen.
THE CONTENDER (***) - Of the films with bad endings, I enjoyed this
one the
most. The ending is a bit of a sell-out, but it's filled with
dialogue I
found to be smart and new to me. I'm also a big fan of Jeff
Bridges. Even if
his character is not all that spic-n-span, putting him as the
president,
following Harrison Ford and Kevin Kline, isn't good for the current
line-up
of goofs who've been duking it out for the presidency in real life.
I just
enjoyed the political back-and-forth of this film and the idea that
the
personal life of these people is "none of your damn business" is a
long-forgotten ideal. And the performances were stellar from Joan
Allen and
Gary Oldman, even if the writing occasionally undercut their
intelligence
from time to time. So, good, not great, enough good stuff to check
it out if
you're a fan of the actors involved.
DR. SEUSS' HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS (***) - How strange is
this? I
enjoyed this film. Was everyone like me - not expecting to like
this at ALL.
It looked overdone, bloated, out of sync with Seuss, and a holiday
downer.
Two words save the day - Jim Carrey. Call it "How the Actor Saved
the
Movie", he KILLED. The best scenes of the film between him and Max
the Dog
(another good actor. And I'm not saying that because I'm married
to Karen.
Truly, this dog never seems to be looking off-camera at his
trainer. He
seems to be listening and enjoying himself. Furthermore, it's a
gender-bending female in the role!). I believe this movie got the
Whos all
wrong. The filmmakers needed a voice in their head that, every 30
minutes
went "simpler, simpler". And the idea to have an "evil" Who in the
Mayor
(that's established early, I'm giving nothing away - he's jealous
and
selfish), is bad. They needed filler in this movie so badly, that
they
forgot that at one point in the film they quoted from the book
about how no
one knew why the Grinch hated Christmas, he just did, THEN they
created a
whole backstory to tell us exactly why! Adapting a 30 minute read
or cartoon
into full-length film is tough, but the fleshing out (a love story,
extended
Cindy Lou Who storyline) didn't work. I recommend on Jim Carrey
and he
alone. He is funny, funny, funny, funny in this role, and in all
the scenes
he's in. Adam Witt once reminded me of a theory that's out there
that Jim
Carrey is one of our greatest actors 'cause he'll take dialogue
that looks
like this on the page:
THE MASK
Smokin'.
...and make it so much more. He's done that here. If you're a fan
of his,
don't miss it.
UNBREAKABLE (**) - More technical prowess wasted on a BAD ENDING.
Terrible,
bad ending. I hated the direction the characters went at the end
of this
film. And even if you do enjoy the choices made by the characters
at the
end, the writer does a lousy job of playing it out by putting one
of those
codas on after the action. BAD - SHOW IT!! Show me the damn
money!! Again
there's good acting, there's wonderful imagery, and there's
certainly
originality here. Most impressive, once again, is the sure-
footedness in
direction and pace by M. Night Shyamalan. But all for naught. I
can't go
into any further detail without you having seen it. I will send an
e-mail
out to those who've seen it 'cause I have opinions for days on this
flick.
Lemme know if you want to talk more.
THE 6TH DAY (**1/2) - Arnold hasn't made a GREAT movie since True
Lies.
Eraser, End of Days, Batman & Robin and this have ranged from OK to
dogshit.
This is OK. A bit more high-minded than you may expect from
Arnold, but
something's missing. Maybe it's Arnold's choice to play such sweet
people.
He could use his edge back. Maybe another movie with Verhoeven,
watch what
Mel Gibson is doing in movies like Payback. That aside, Robert
Duvall,
following up his heart-wrenching performance in Gone in 60 Seconds
is
actually good here, providing real depth to his cloning doctor.
He's got
conflict. So does Arnie, but it doesn't register as well. What
does
register is a plot with lots of ethical questions and high-tech fun
stuff.
The cloning process is depicted especially interesting here,
especially when
it goes awry. As I said, at least it has a good ending.
REQUIEM FOR A DREAM (***1/2) - Oh, my, do I love Jennifer Connelly.
She's
been on my hottie list since Labyrinth, right on through The
Rocketeer,
Higher Learning and Dark City. Well, she starts out this movie as
the beauty
I've always thought she was, then she goes straight to hell. They
made her
look sickly!! Not fair! Everyone in this movie goes to hell,
actually. It's
another uplifting tale of drug addiction. Just as I thought we
were dipping
into the cliches of a junkie tale, Pi director Darren Aronofsky
took this
movie by the balls and impressed the hell outta me. He certainly
doesn't
just tell a tale, he gives you a MOVIE, full of choice camera play
and
editing to show you the story just as he wants to.
This
could've gone terribly wrong in less capable hands. But Aronofsky
is
surprisingly commanding in his visual style in only his second film
(remember
Mallrats and Kafka - sophomore slumps all, but not here). He had
help with a
career performance by Ellen Burstyn. I liked it better than Pi.
So, there's a ton of stuff to chew on. I had the good fortune to
catch two
GREAT films in re-release, too. The Nightmare Before Christmas
played at
Disney's El Capitan Theatre - GORGEOUS. Plus, the print was
perfect and they
had an accompanying room with set sculptures, people in costume,
etc. LOVE
that movie. Then I caught The Matrix at Universal Studios' IMAX
screen. I
was floored. It was bigger than God. 60,000 watts of sound. It
sells out
or comes near for both weekend midnight shows every week. Now
they've got
Gladiator there, too. This is worth doing. Plus, The Matrix is an
exceptionally well put together piece of sci-fi.
Get out to see Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and tell your friends
to do the
same. Also, looking forward to Vertical Limit, What Women Want,
The
Emporer's New Groove, Miss Congeniality and Cast Away.
Yours Carpal-tunnelly,
Paul